This week, after eight years, I was faced with a very real part of life again. I was called to visit a family where the wife was in her final stages of life, to help ease her pain and discomfort with medication. I've returned to nursing while I finish my counselling training. I feel fortunate to have options, and for the first time, all the hard work, heartache, and moments of feeling lost seem to have paid off. I now have a bit of freedom to earn money while fulfilling my soul, purpose, and day. On the team WhatsApp chat, the call to help this family went out to many, but it was met with responses like, "too busy," "too far away," or "do they really need us?" I just went. She was palliative and in pain, and since I am blessed with none of these burdens and none of my other patients are going through this, I thought, "I can go." I feel strongly about end-of-life care—you only have one chance to do it justice for everyone involved. So, I went and met the most beautiful family, who were in the most precious, scary, daunting, and unique time of their lives. I felt privileged to be there, though it made me sad as well. It wasn’t until after I left and thought about it that the emotions hit me. No one asked how I felt about seeing someone in their last moments, or how I felt knowing I was the last health professional to touch them before they passed. No one acknowledged the impact this had on me, even though it was peaceful. I wept for her and her family. Once again, I had witnessed life in all its glory, and it did affect me—and it should affect me, at least for a short while, because this too is life. It was strange to see myself as the nurse I am today after time away, with more years behind me. It felt almost like an out-of-body experience. I had mellowed. I took more time, more direction from them, and I felt like I did the best for them. All day, I thought of her and the stories her sister told me. I felt like I had become part of her story. I’m sharing this to say that just because it’s expected of you doesn’t mean it won’t affect you—and that’s okay. Through talking, I found my peace of mind again.
